It wakes me up every single morning - a diabolical hunger that makes unfair demands.  Bagels. Pancakes. Sausage. Eggs. Smoothies. Toast. Oatmeal. Juice.  I will ever wander to the kitchen enslaved to cook breakfast.  I never miss it.

Diabetes for me produces really high insulin levels which makes me hungry - VERY HUNGRY - constantly.  It also pulls a second punch, because insulin will inevitably pack on the pounds.  Once you have more fat - the more insulin you need, the more you make, the more fat you put away.  On and on until you end up obese and one of these days someone is going to tell me, “if you weren’t fat you would never have gotten diabetes.”

High blood sugar feeds cancer.  Which is why diabetes is linked to cancer.  The body can’t heal itself very well when it has no energy - and in diabetes it can’t get to the energy it needs.

So watching my diet like a bloody hawk I’ve tried to figure out ways to skirt the whole eating a ton issue.  I’m hungry constantly.  I often go to bed with my stomach growling, go all day long starving, and rarely if ever feel satisfied when I eat.  It’s a kind of hell I could never have imagined back in my days of skipping meals and being scrawny.

Iron will serves me only so far - I need better amo.

Iron will is running up stairs while holding your breath - works for only a bit.

So today I’m trying a trial of amino acids after discovering by accident that my sleep medication (an OTC melatonin mix) also eliminated my appetite.  So far…well two cups of milk and an apple later I’m not as hungry as I was.

Drink more water.

I drank five glasses while waiting for my health entrée in a Portland restaurant a few weeks ago.  Everywhere I go I bring my water because I am also unabidingly thirsty - always.

I woke up this morning hungry but thought the following:

“I need to go run”
“Your knees both hurt don’t be stupid.”
“What if I could run on a softer more forgiving surface?”
“Yeah like what?”
“How about the running track at the Grade School?”
“Well, how would I get there?”
“Highlander has to work this morning - have him give you a lift then walk back.”
“Damn it, that makes sense, now I’m going to have to go run.”

So that’s how I went about putting in four miles today.  And I’m wondering - maybe that’s my next great assault in this health war I’m waging.

Exercise at any price until I get down some pounds and fight off this hunger.

If I can lose enough weight my blood sugar should return to normal (presumably), and the low carb, no sugar, high vitamin packed diet should have a chance to benefit me, which should starve and fight the cancer and give me a lot more energy.

I need to drop some weight.  A lot of weight.  I’m 16 pounds heavier then my so called “anorexic” weight back at Northark - but its not just any pounds - I want to lose fat pounds and gain muscle pounds.

This week I did go run, I did go and get my biopsies done (can you say ouch?) and drive myself around for the first time in a strange new area (went to the beach).  So maybe daily exercise and lots of it is also in the works.  I know people aren’t supposed to over do cardio but I like to run - it’s my thing.  So run I will, and weights and anything else I can throw in.  I want to stay off of meds as much as possible and get my body to fight for itself.

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