I think had I not found out about the lying that it would have festered between us and pushed us apart.  It would have destroyed the goodness and everything valuable there like a slow disease.   You know, I’m not sure what made me take it public.  I just felt like - I guess no one would know and that would make it happen again.  If you don’t get caught that’s the reward to lying.   “It’s okay if nobody finds out about it.”

I had a lot of amazing e-mails from both genders.  A lot from guys who let me know he might not be doing it to be an evil psychopath.  Telling me stories about how they had messed up and a lot of, ‘oh - you think that’s bad, here is what I did - and she forgave me.  We can face anything as a couple.’

In the past when it’s been, “We have to talk” — it was like hitting a brick wall because the ‘talk’ usually meant that I wasn’t happy and he could construe that as - she doesn’t approve of me, I’m doing my best, it’s not enough, this conversation is pointless and scary.  It was a roller coaster of where I would ‘attack’ even if I tried to be reasonable.

So now we don’t have ‘the talk’ we set down and work on things a little bit each night.  We have a notebook and we communicate.  I didn’t quite know he was capable of the kind of long talks we’ve been having.

We’re mapping ways of communication.  I’ve learned a lot about myself.  I’m a lot stronger then I thought I was and I have a lot more faith.

He’ll have to follow through a great deal and we’ll have to keep up with the dialog and working at the relationship.  It’s like a diet, or an exercise program - I’m not in a state of mind where I think this might just automatically work.  I know for a fact that when things get better he might abandon the healing part and slip into old habits and me with my memory problems might just kinda not notice.

Everything I’ve learned in philosophy, communication and leadership I used this week.  *Whew.  It’s like being trained as a soldier and finally using it in the field for the first time and finding out it really can save your life.

As for me - thinking about training up for new runs.  I start, get side tracked - then get back to the gym.  Usually doesn’t take me too long to get back to running shape anymore.  Need to clean out my garage to where I can get to my heavy bag and try out that kickboxing as well as put up the bbq grill for the year and get out the archery supplies.

I’m buying two 8 1/2 x 11 matted framed this weekend.  I’m going to put my kids’ artwork in them as they bring them home and put them on the wall.  I remembered the pride I had when I put up that first framed bit of art in art school.

So you know, just push on with the positive and that makes opportunities and gives you ways to connect to people.  I guess that’s my philosophy anyway.  I think when I person indulges into the negative too much the situation starts to control them and escalate.

I’m starting two new web site projects so I probably won’t be on 7Hunters too much this week.  I will try to put up a new tutorial at some point.